So what I did was find a stray black kitten that needed some loving - he's My Little China Cat. Before you want to plant seeds on your (possibly real) chia pet, you need to shave them. Leave hair on its noggin, but just shave the rest of the body. All Hair MUST go! Next step (OPTIONAL) is pretty gruesome, but carve a little hole in it's back. So then it can be watered properly! If you're too chicken to do that, you can skip the carving and just water your pet through its mouth. Your plant will just grow slower!
Now it's time to give your pet a bath! Put it in a bath of lukewarm water for over-night. I suppose you can leave it in for an hour at minimum. If your pet is fighting you on this then you might have to bribe it to make it stay. Heck, you might have to join it in the bath and hold your little buddy. The whole body minus the head has to be submerged into the water to acquire the upmost absorption.
While you are soaking your pet into a batch of water, get out the seeds that you want to plant on them. I suggest grass seed, or maybe even herb seeds. You will need 2 teaspoons of seeds to 1/4 cup of water in a bowl. Let it rest for about an hour until the seeds may be a little paste-y. It's important that the seeds stick, or otherwise they will not stay on your pet! After your pet has bathed for over night (or an hour) you can covered them with your sticky paste-y seeds. Your pet might fight you, but like when you tried to get it in the bath you'll have to bribe it. Or distract him at least.
Once you are done covering its entire body with seeds find a comfy bed for it and place your pet by a window that receives a lot of sunlight. Now you give it a lot of water. Pour into the gouged out hole on its back or have it drink it from its mouth. You want a lot of water inside your friend. A LOT. Then splash a little bit of more water on its back. Sit it out and wait for the seeds to sprout! It should take one - two weeks for the seeds reach full potential. Make sure to visit your chia pet to give it love and to encourage the seeds to grow.
Within a few days you should see some sprouts! Feel free to get excited and scream about, but don't forget to say "That's a good little China Cat," well at least in my case. Grooming and upkeep is easy. Cut accordingly to how you want your pet to look as your grass/herbs grow. Enjoy!
Let me know if you try this project! I love seeing pictures!
P.S. This was purely a joke. If I find out that anybody hurts any living thing trying to plant seeds on them I will hunt you down and smack you senseless. Or report you to the police/ASPCA. Take your pick.